Dreams........

I’m brilliant. Or atleast many people say so. I work the time of the day when there are specs in an otherwise blank sky and rest when my eyes get sensitive and there is that thing in the sky from which all the heat and light seems to come. I have atleast as many dreams as I have legs and that is more than what most of my people can even imagine to think about. I plan to tick my boxes quite regularly and add a few boxes here and there. My today’s box was to get to the tree across the cool solid black river and rest on the other side. The heat thingy was peeping on the horizon and I wanted to finish the day on a high. The journey began with a lot of speculation and talk about no one ever making it across ever, about rolling things, strange sounds and prayers and good byes and tears. But I wasn’t worrying. I was too awesome to be scared. I began and on the way saw a few crushed brothers. All this body count was only raising the height of my podium. You only need to be a big enough hero to be God. I was planning the return journey all the while. People needed to bow to my awesomeness, this was my duty and right at the same time. My mind was playing a background score all this while to accompany this march to greatness. The crescendo was peaking (with visions of people bowing) when something came rolling past with the Doppler effect and everything.

Just when I began to think of stories to fit this incident and trumpet it as a voyage………………….. CRACK! (my exoskeleton) SPLAT!(my fluids) and a few more CRACKS!!’s and SPLAT!!’s ………………..thats how my story would have been if was alive and not crushed by the next rolling thing (humans, I now hear, call it a bicycle). The 1^st rolling thing stopped my background score crescendo while the Doppler effect of next wheel ended with the peak killing me. That was the 1^st box I had intended to tick. So many dreams for nothing. I would have been sad I guess if I were alive. Or atleast people tell me so. But then dreams only matter to give purpose to life. I’m now neither alive nor need a purpose to be as I am.

-Mr Centipede (not sure when - somewhere mid august 2010)

An obituary to the many poor centipedes that lie crushed on our roads because of all our bicycle traffic.

R.I.P all you hundred legged ones.

Who's got to be saved by whom???

There are many problems with the present chase for change. The problem is not necessarily in intention, but in perspective. We, humans, operate and discuss on a very different time scale. A few thousand years is a long period of time in our considerations but isn't much on the time scale on which the earth and the eco-system function.

There is much talk about us, as a species, becoming powerful and crossing the limits of peaceful co-existence and there by disrupting the careful and meticulous balance that nature has developed over a span of a few million or so years. There is talk about the need to act fast and amend our ways to save the planet. There is talk about seas becoming more acidic and the composition of the atmosphere itself changing. About ice melting, sea levels raising. About so many species being wiped out, our population increasing and a lot of other things. And all this, they say has happened due to us over a short span of a few centuries. They say failing to act immediately can cause repairable damage to the planet. It definitely is an alarming prospect to consider the possibility of the tiger disappearing. I mean after all that "T for tiger" learning and writing as a kid. But my problem with all this (apart from the fact that i can't think of any thing else to tell the next generation what T stands for) is the assumption that we are powerful enough to do things to the earth and damage it.

Yes we are powerful enough to do things to this planet. And also foolish enough to think that the planet needs saving. If anything, it's we who need saving. What we are doing will cause damage that we cannot recover from. But its a matter of a few thousand or so years for our astonishing planet. If the speculation about the dinosaurs extinction due to a meteorite or some such calamity is true, it is that calamity that changed the path of evolution and lead to the present state just as something similar led to the state in which the dinosaurs were until the catastrophe. A calamity can cause a radical change in the direction of evolution. It may just be the case that what we are doing now on our planet is a catastrophe we are building and creating. It might just be the calamity that our planet need to direct the evolution in a new direction. Anything we do might be a bit too much for us to take, but is a matter just a matter of time for the planet. The planet, no longer ours due to our non-existence, will still thrive and be as diverse as we can possible imagine after our self called change.

The way we act now is not for the better or worse of the planet. The planet knows perfectly well how to take care of itself and its dwellers, whoever they will be. Our actions for change are not acts of benevolence, but steps that must be taken for self preservation. Surprisingly evolution seems to have reached some sort of an inland delta where the survival of the species isn't on the priority list. We seem to have lost track and imagine on a time scale so small that not only do we not see the effect of our actions but we also seem to be believing that we can destroy a system that has evidently recovered and indeed flourished after a few event that were calamities and disasters to the then inhabiting species.

The challenge..............

Someday a few days ago. We were talking about some fun days. People getting beaten up, people escaping, tripping teachers with string and some guy actually doing things in a classroom. He wanted to have the thrill of hiding from the cameras in the class and ...........ohhhhhh!!. Man it seems he actually ............o.k thats not for now. But even without the cameras........... man can't even imagine.......oooooo. nono lets just say OJAR!!! and leave it there.

So while talking about stuff that went on around us before coming to college, and then came a story about a girl being caught with a love letter she wanted to give to a guy. Nothing very surprising about this. Apart from the fact that it was from the girl to the guy. And another interesting thing. It was supposedly a 23 page love letter. Ya 23 pages! now dats a love letter. i have even seen smaller novels than that. In fact maybe even smaller research papers. Anyway, so i said to him "how hard could it be?" I mean i could write a 25 page love letter. The love part doesn't even exist any way. It just needs to be a long thing about anything, i mean love is blind right. He /she can't even read it anyway. But then it struk me, he/she need not show it around. But i have to. So I thought mine needs to be less blinding. People should be able to say "Oooh! so sweet", or atleast "not me but ya some girl might accept it as a love letter".

Before I begin, what the hell was she thinking? we struggle to write 2 pages about the history of the Mughal empire and have to resort to writing some other stuff in between. And mind you this empire lasted around 2 centuries.

O.K any way i took up this task upon myself. It was all fine when I sat down to write it, apart from the fact that i wasn't in love with anyone, and that my end sems were coming (actually dat doesn't count actually maybe), and the fact that it was almost boring even thinking about the prospect of a 25 page whatever. But, shying from a challenge?? Not in our clan or wat ever that stuff is supposed to be about. The problem was what do they usually write about? Almost immediately i found an answer. I told myself "Just put yourself in his/her place". Ufff..... Ofcourse, Brilliant!!!.

But then, disaster. It only made my situation worse. I tried living their day, in my mind obviously. And it made things worse. They talk for a few hours on the phone, don't know what (can't even imagine), when they are apart, in space i mean , obviously.

What is left to write about? Now 23 pages!!!

I could increase the font......

NOno its not fair. she wro....

Everything is fair in love and war...... right?

Maybe not, and this isn't even love, u took a challenge and are finding ways out of it...

Alright let me begin......

You know what........... forget it.. I don't have all the time in this world. And surely not to this. And a correction, it seems it was 43 pages.

And a new possibility has risen. maybe it was a some sort of collection or something....43 pages OJAR.....Imagine it were true and you were on the receiving end.....OOooooooo you had a hell of a viva coming along the next day......and no excuses are going to be accepted.... He must be happy she got caught. No viva and still has the girl..........Cool man, whom did u pray to that day???

Of course everything happens for our good. They would have started hating each other if the letter had come through. Bad viva = no love right.....I am happy for you man whoever you are.....

Thank god for me. No viva and my phone bills O.K. And my note book still have empty paper in them, many blank pages actually. Where are all my notes??Is this all i have written this semester in all those classes? O.K then emergency!!!, got go and fix my notes and other things for my end sems.

Brothers........

There are two parts, you and the rest of the universe. Each is responsible for the shape the other one takes. I usually argue that all virtues are actually virtual and are made up by us to make ourselves feel virtuous. But there are feelings which happen when anything happens. There are tears that come out certain times when memories pay their visits. When i think about it i realize that everything that happens now reminds me of something that happened then and more. You people come in my dreams, discussions, debates and anything and everything.

More part of me is made by you than by the rest of my life. I see guys playing here, I say "our guys were definitely better even in the school days". I see the dramatics here, I say "our school guys were better in a many ways even back then now they would be awesome". I see parts of our college festival and say "our sports day was spectacular". Our chariots were awesome and so was the time spent on them. Our cards were beautiful. Our Saturday nights seem beautiful now not 'coz of the movie. Our class also don't seem bad at all now nor do our attempts to bunk them (both successful and unsuccessful ones). Our meals don't seem all bulletproof puris now, all i remember is the hiding food under mat, wasting food, echo effect food prayers and sitting together for the meals. From the older times, the suitcase tunnels, dorm cricket and hockey (very rarely though), sneaking in food, headstands, handstand walks, backwalks, fivestones, stories, laughing at everything and things like catching teachers playing with beads and "go and sleep in E-dormitory".

These are the times that have and are shaping my everything. I don't know about charity beginning at home, but for me everything began there.

Guys thank you for the time we spent together and i regret no part of it. Every single thing that happened there was awesome and amazing. I don't know what to say but it makes me feel happy and cheerful whenever something (that is almost everything) reminds me of those times. Sorry for any time I have been an asshole but you are more than brothers to me. I don't know why i felt like writing this but its a way to vent a few feelings. If like in a movie i have to say t"his is the best thing that ever happened to me" i'll have to add a "since those days" to it. You are the biggest part of my rest (the universe minus me). Looking forward to meeting you all guys........if the time is the sea, those time were written on the shores of the Sea of Tranquility (on the moon) where nothing can wash it away.

Virtual virtues

There are , broadly, 2 ways of looking at this world. One, like we all do mostly and normally ( and some would add "with responsibility"), and the second being like a child. The child when it is born doesn't like its mother for what she does or how she lives. He loves her for what she is. Reasons don't play a role. He is just a curious fellow looking at the world as it is with no prejudices. He is ready to accept things for what they are. You might call it his inability to think and analyse, but i would say it is our inability to look at things unprejudiced. why is something wrong and something right? What makes a person bad and another good? who are we to judge. Sure things form in our heads, but that doesnt make him bad or good. why should some one be looked at as a wrong does even if they haven't done you, or anyone you know, any wrong?

There are two ways of looking at this. If you think you are a logical person and can reason out, search for a reason that some one is bad. For example, why should prostitution be lookt at as it is? try to reason out logically ('coz u think you are a logical fellow). Try to find reasons to say it is a bad thing. Every profession has unwilling workers, every profession has its employment hazards, every profession has its harsh and unacceptable clients. So what makes this bad in a distinct way? If it comes to trafficking, that comes down to bad handling of the issue, and by the way children suffer in industries also in quiet traumatic conditions.

Now the second way of looking at it is, "I somehow don't like it, it just doesn't make me feel o.k about it"). This kind of view is fine but the thing is may be you don't feel its fine coz the people around you want you to feel so. It is not necessary to feel ok with everything, but lets be open and make an attempt to accept things as they are. The effect has gone to such an extent that the people doing it feel they are sinning. Sure, they may not be happy about it, but that doesn't make it a sin.

Look at the world as it is. Be ready to accept things which until now seemed wrong just because the people around you feel so. Its fine to feel somethings are not right, but feel it 'coz u feel it and not "coz the society wants you to feel so. Virtues are all virtual. These are things used to make people to do things they normally wouldn't. You needn't accept everything, but be ready to consider everything and think for yourself. Don't just convince yourself to be convinced.

Who the F*#k are they.....

See, the world we live in is, as we can look at it, made of 2 parts. You and the rest. It's the same with everyone single one in the rest. Now, what each of us do is going to affect the rest and eventually what the rest does is affecting you (and normally most would add a "for good or bad" here). But this fact, as obvious as it may seem, has far reaching effects. This effect of everyone affecting everyone shows some unique properties. How the rest affects you is not the sum total of each of the rest affecting you. the rest influences the rest to act in a certain way. That is everyone in the rest isnt acting independently. They act in ways that they feel will make them acceptable to the rest. Now, there is nothing wrong with that. But, what is wrong is, what is acceptable to the rest is not necessarily what is acceptable to each in the rest. This is kind of a vicious circle. Everyone thinks everyone else things only this is acceptable. Why was widow remarriage not accepted? Why did people fight wars in the name of such things? This might seem like old stuff that no longer exists. But the same phenomenon exists only the acceptable things change. The then society was convinced that there was something wrong in widow remarriage and something righteous and brave in sati. This was some thing the society as a whole forced everyone to believe, though surely every daughter's father was broken when his son-in-law died. In the present situation, why is a gay relationship wrong? You know why, 'coz the society want us to think it is. Now the question comes why does it want us to think that way?. Now that is a question which might have a very complex answer. But the fact still remains, that the society wants us to think some things are wrong. They might argue the continuation of species crap, but the fact is if it was about that tell him to only fuck once in his life. And in the present situation, our species will survive only if there are fewer of us coming per second. There was this article in the Reader's digest about this guy who lost his sense of smell in a school brawl and later after many years got it back after an operation. This guy, one day noticed a smell and surprisedly asked if it was a new perfume only to realize it was a fart. What this points to is 2 things, the fart smells bad to us 'coz we have convinced ourselves it is bad. well, in some ways its good for us, diseases n all. But the fact is we convinced ourselves it is not right to think that a fart smells good. In a way the nazis weren't that bad, they convinced themselves that jews were low. Its just a matter of magnitude. If we run along the same lines we could be convinced of something of a similar magnitude .So, finally the point is who the fuck are they to tell us something is right or wrong? Its important to have perception, but not ones that are based on what some they ,which consists of no particular somebody, want us to think. Sure we have grown beyond evolution and need some moderation, but still who the fuck are they to moderate.

So, be open to things. And keep your judgement. 'coz if you are strong enough the act of expression of your judgement can cause the rest to think without thinking. So in the words of the bard

"Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice take each man's censure but reserve thy judgemen".